My Ink Story

"That's trashy."
"What are your kids going to say?"
"I bet your parents disowned you."
"I can't believe you did that."
"What a reckless decision."
"You didn't strike me as a trashy girl."
"You shouldn't have one since you're a lady."
"That's unladylike."
"But you're a girl."
"But you're Catholic..."
"I bet it's ugly when you're older."
"Have you considered laser removal?"
"First one, then a sleeve huh?"
"Were you drunk?"
"Do you smoke cigarettes too now?"
"You'll regret it in five years."
"Now you won't be able to get a job."
"You don't look like that kind of person."

These are all things that people have said to me. Sadly, the most recent one was "I thought you were a lady. That's so unladylike and trashy."

Apparently I don't look like "that kind of person" and how could I possibly since I am Catholic?

I doubt more than half of you knew that I had a tattoo. It's not visible to the common eye and on any given occasion most of you wouldn't see it anyways.

However, regardless of all of these negative comments I've received, I could care less. I think I speak for many people with tattoos when I say I don't give a f*** what you think. It is my body and it was my decision and it is a part of me that I have come to love.

Thanks to the several negative reactions I've received recently when I tell people "I have a tattoo", I thought it would be an appropriate time to reflect on why I decided to get it in the first place.

First of all, this was not a rebellious act when I turned 18 to stand out as an adult. I decided to get my tattoo after a year of consideration the summer following my 20th birthday. I decided on a simple tattoo, 3 simple words, written in simple black cursive, a reminder to myself of who I am and what I am made of:

Fuerza desde adentro

What you don't know when you made these comments is that this tattoo, to me, symbolizes the struggles that I overcame that year. That year, I had two of the most important things in my life taken away from me.

For 15 years, I lived and breathed soccer. It was my blood and sweat. I couldn't imagine my life without it. But then, unexpectedly and all of a sudden, I wasn't able to walk. I could not even put my foot on the ground without shrieking in pain. Later, I found out this was because I literally had no cartilage on my hip, as well as almost every ligament/tendon/muscle/tissue was torn and destroyed. My entire ball-and-socket joint was bone grinding on bone any time I shifted or moved. After surgery, that love of mine was taken away.

After a long , painful, and stressful recovery, another important part in my life was taken. In July of 2013, my Papaw was gone. I held his hand as he was taken off the breathing machine and held tight as he took his last breath on Earth. Apologies for being blunt, but I tell you what, holding someone you love as you watch them leave this world will mess with your emotions and mind. I struggled with it for awhile and doubted the strength, if any, that I had.

After my two loved ones were taken away, in my mind, I needed to do something radical, something to prove my strength because at that point, I felt shattered. As many of my close friends know, one of my 3 fears in life is needles. I absolutely cannot stand needles and swore I would never get a tattoo, mainly because of that extreme fear.

But that changed the summer of 2013. I decided to get a tattoo that meant something to me, that no one could ever take away from me. For my gringo friends who can't speak Spanish, my tattoo reads:

Strength from within

To me, it was something simple but I knew it was exactly what I wanted. I reflected for a few days, sketched it out a gazillion times on a yellow notepad, practicing to make it perfect. Then there was my enlightening moment. It was an afternoon in the gym in which I was trying to lift weights like I used to in my off-seasons and I could not find the strength to push through my workout. It was at that exact moment, drenched in sweat and frustration, that I said screw it. I drove to the tattoo parlor without telling anyone where I was going or why.

It only took my tattoo artist like 8-10 minutes and surprisingly it was over before I knew it. I chose to have it written in the language that I have come to love, that has shaped who I am (that's my gringa side in case you were wondering). Placed along the inside curve of my right hip, to many, you would not understand my choice for the location. Maybe you think I put it there because it looks hot when I wear a bikini. However, if you look closely, you will notice my tattoo is precisely located between the two sets of scars I have: the set of scars from my hip surgery and the set of scars from when I was on kidney dialysis and a feeding tube as an infant (bet you didn't know that I had Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome and was hooked up to machines as an infant either did ya? Talk about some serious strength from within.)

For those of you who said "I bet your parents disowned you", SURPRISE! They didn't.

Both my mom and dad were more than supportive and if anything, they said they loved me more (if that was even possible) for having the courage to overcome one of my biggest fears. Of course they only became aware of it after it had already been permanently inked on my body, but they were not upset in the slightest. And even funnier? Neither of my grandmas disowned me either! My family members that have seen it love it and often brag to others about it when the topic of tattoos arises, saying it is SO representative of the kind of girl I am and could not be more perfect for me.

So for those of you who say "You don't look like that kind of girl" or "But you're a girl!", newsflash: Chicks can have tattoos too! 

I don't dress sleazy, wearing crop tops and low-rise jeans that display my tattoo for everyone to see because I don't see it as something to brag about. As I have said many times before, I etched it on my body for me, myself, and I, as a constant reminder of what I am made of.

I wasn't drunk when I decided to get it, I was still able to get a job, I don't smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, and I won't be getting a sleeve. Will I get a second tattoo? Yes, I've considered it. But the stereotypes behind girls having tattoos (or tatted people in general) is ridiculous. I also don't regret it three years later and when my kids ask me about it, I have no problem telling them the stories of the difficult times I overcame and how my tattoo represents strength in itself. It represents when I looked my biggest fear in the eye and instead of having an emotional breakdown full of tears and anxiety like many of those that made up 2013, I took a deep breath and stepped forward with an open mind. 

Bottom line, I don't care what you think of my tattoo because I did it for myself, not for you. People need to stop judging people with tattoos. Every tattoo has a story behind it, a reason for being designed, and this is mine.

Besos,
Haley

Focusing on the Good

I'm a little late on writing this blog post because the New Year started with unexpected stress and emotion, including the death of a dear friend of mine (RIP Francisco, I miss you so much). However, now that I've had some time to catch up, I figured it was a good time to reflect on 2015. 2015 was a constant roller coaster that seemed to never end, but now that it's over, I've definitely been laughing about it.

At the beginning of 2015, I started my Senior Thesis. Sounds scary right? Well it definitely was. And did I mention the entire thing was in Spanish, including its presentation? Talk about stress and a time consuming project. Sorry to all my friends for falling off the Earth that last semester. Writing a thesis in 8 weeks will do that to someone. 

Throughout the insanely busy year of the Thesis, I somehow managed to work 3 jobs, including an internship at National Council of La Raza. The beginning of Spring 2015 culminated with the opportunity to help NCLR with their National Latino Advocacy Days. Meeting Latino families from across the country of all ages, genders, and backgrounds, as well as those who share their love for advocating for the Latino community (like myself) was so rewarding and only inspired me more to pursue a career in the immigration field. 

NCLR Photo Booth

In March, Mama Finn and I celebrated the anniversary of my 21st birthday. Due to being South of the Equator, we didn't get to celebrate it right the first time so of course she had to come up to DC to celebrate it in Finn-gal fashion. This also included Mama Finn's first Uber experience and a midnight run to Target. The weekend was rounded out with a boozy bottomless brunch followed by being tourists all over the city (never gets old) and chillaxin' on the Washington Monument. 

Trendsetters with our feet up on the Monument

Next big step was Easter Weekend. Thanks to the support of my family, I was finally confirmed in the Catholic Church. Thanks to my parents for never forcing it on me and as a result, I pursued my spiritual journey on my schedule when I felt the timing was right. What made it even more special was that all of the Finns were able to make it for the weekend. Distance has nothing on us.

Easter Vigil Confirmation

One of the funniest and most unexpected events of 2015 came during Finals Week. Thanks to being a nerd and having straight A's, I only had one final to take which meant I was out celebrating instead of preparing for that one and only final. On a random Wednesday night, I met Jamie Foxx at a crappy Clarendon Bar at 1:30 in the morning. What he was doing in Arlington, VA on a random Wednesday? Who knows. But all I know is that I made Jamie Foxx laugh. He asked why I was out drinking and dancing on a Wednesday night and in the spur of the moment I immediately responded: "I don't really know, but I'ma blame it on the a a a a a a alcohol baby." He bent over laughing and said "Come over here, girl. Let us get some selfies in this b****." And that was that. 

I have 10 selfies of Jamie Foxx (both smiling and mean-mugging) on my phone

Then there was the end of senior year. You guessed it: I survived the Thesis Terror and had a few other nerdy accomplishments such as joining the Hispanic Honor Society and graduated with honors. Once again, I am so blessed I was able to share my special moment with those who supported me through the ups and downs of college. 

Spanish Thesis Warriors after our Sigma Delta Pi Induction

Was it ever really a moment in history if 

Mama Finn and I didn't get our selfie?

The 2 best guys I know, even if they are a foot taller

And then came the summer of 2015 and things got REALLY interesting. The summer of 2015 was probably one of the best summers yet, despite the rough start to the season. I got out of an an extremely unhealthy relationship. But I'm a strong independent woman who didn't need no man so I got over it and moved on. I was going to use the summer to rediscover myself and pursue my passions that I had otherwise put on hold. I was doing great and then the summer really got started with a HUGE bang: LITERALLY. Just as I was spending my first week in the real world, I broke my foot and spent the first 2 weeks of summer on crutches, followed by another 2 months in a boot. Let me tell ya, that boot was the PERFECT summer accessory (sike).

LOL when the first doctor said it wasn't broken. 

Literally a softball on my foot.

With my broken foot, I made the trek home to Carolina to watch one of my big brothers and closest friends marry his best friend and love of his wife. The love they share for each other and their marriage is so obvious and they are just so perfect for each other. 

 

Chris and Krystal Ferguson

Summer 2015 also marked the start of my Winery Tours. Now, these were not my first wineries because as all my friends and family know, I have been a wine snob for several years now and spending 7 months in wine country in one of the most beautiful wine regions in the world didn't help that snobbiness. However, I had never been to the wineries here back home and what better time to visit the vineyards than summertime! 

Who would've thought Mama Finn and I's first
winery tour wasn't until this summer?
And with white at that?!


Cousin Pam and I taking some girl time
at a Northern Virginia Winery

Tight Jeans Wine Tasting! Thank you for allowing me

to be the baby of the group and join in on the fun!

I was so so so lucky to run into friends I hadn't seen in ages. I loved being able to reunite with my OG, brother from another Gian Carlo. I hadn't seen Gian Carlo since I moved from Houston over 12 years ago. Thank goodness for his cousin graduating in the greater DC area. Even though our time together was too short, I was glad I was able to take you to your first (and probably only) Nats game and share some cold beers with ya. 

First boyfriend and first best friend.

H-Town for life.

Spring 2014 I spent living in the most AMAZING country (I might be biased but whatever. Mi corazón todavía está en Argentina). While here, I met some awesome people and made unique friendships. Lucky me, I got to catch up with 2 of them over the summer! VAMOS ARGENTINA!

Sharing cocktails overlooking the city

after a girls' day of shopping with

Nancy in Boston

Bryan moved to DC!

Of course, it's me, so my summer involved sports, and a lot of them. One night, one of my bar guests tried to buy my Nats hat off my head for $300. I thought it he was crazy and I probably was too for not taking the man up on his offer, but it was my favorite ball cap and I just wasn't ready to part ways yet. Long story short, the man was Nationals GM Mike Rizzo. It was per his request that we took a selfie on both of our phones because he said I was one of the funniest, coolest, most loyal Nats fans he's ever met. In return, I asked him to put in a good word for me with Bryce. Don't ask me how that's going because clearly I'm still single. 

New BFF's

The best sports moment of 2015? THE US WOMEN'S NATIONAL TEAM WINNING THE WORLD CUP! The little 10 year old soccer player will never forget the tournament and all of the amazing soccer that was played. Furthermore, the US won so GO AMERICA. I was probably still celebrating their win a week later when I woke up hungover on a Sunday and had to go to work. After a long shift and wanting to rush home to bed, I decided to spoil myself and go get my nails done (for anyone who knows me, this was a rare thing to do). Well, thank goodness I did because while waiting on my manicure, I ran into Ali Krieger during her first weekend home as a World Cup Champion. Again, there's a theme of famous people wanting selfies with me because after I asked Ali if I could take a picture with her, she asked if she could take one with me, as well as a Snapchat for her story. So between her wanting pics with me and her talking about how great it was to kick Japan's ass, I had a major girl crush. 

Probably the ugliest picture of me but I 

don't even care because it's

ALI KRIEGER

There was a lot of baseball over the summer (and baseball beers). I was going to a Nats game every week and I was in love (and not just with Bryce Harper). 

Pups in the Park

3 B's of Baseball: Beers, Betches and Bryce

Roomies at Nats Park

But y'all know me and know it's not a Haley story without some football involved. Although I am loyal to my Carolina Panthers, I had a great time taking my other big brother Keith to his first Redskins game. 

Big Bro proudly supporting his red and gold

Summer 2015 was a summer of family as well. Due to school, I hadn't been able to spend the time I should've with loved ones. In addition to reconnecting with old friends who have become family, I spent time with my actually family as well. It was so nice to spend time with cousins Briar and Pam several times over the summer as well. We're not that far apart but with all of our crazy schedules it's been hard to take the time to visit each other. I wrapped up the summer by going to a Lady Antebellum concert (my favorite) with my Nanny. I even convinced her to go to the beer garden and drink beer(s) with me!!!

Nanny's first (pineapple) beer 

The fall was a blur since most of it was spent slaving over cover letters and interviews and trying to find a job that was the perfect fit.  Not knowing where I wanted to live was the most stressful part of the job search and post-graduation.  I even almost moved to Houston on a whim to accept a job offer and return home! However, I had great friends who reminded me to stay sane and just have fun and enjoy all my hard work. Shout out to my girls for keeping me grounded and always saying yes when I was stressed and sent a text simply saying "I need drinks, dancing, and a girls' night."

Cheers to Jack for always being down for fun, 

even on Sunday nights. 

Engelhardt and Freshman for life.

Halloween 2015

Halloween 2015

We moustache you a question

Mama Nat

Roomies got arrested

434's Christmas Card

Then FINALLY the day came when I was offered that big girl job. I had accomplished my goal of obtaining a job at a law firm in DC and it seemed perfectly fitting. I've been so lucky to be surrounded by amazing co-workers who make me laugh even on the most stressful and overwhelming days. Team Goat. Donuts for the squad.

It's only fitting that 2015 go out with a dance party and what better way to do so than a Finn wedding? I am so happy I got to stand next to my beautiful cousin, among her closest friends, on her special day to help write the beginning of her fairytale (*insert T-Swift quote here). I loved meeting all of the other bridesmaids, as well as other close friends of the beautiful couple. Reconnecting with the entire Finn gang is always a good time as well. Just ask anyone who watched all of us own the dance floor. 

The queen on her special day

Cheers to #Brupton2015

The Bridesmaid Gang

Another comical aspect of 2015 was dating. LOL. After my breakup, like any rational girl in her 20s, I swore off guys. But then I realized this probably wasn't realistic in the long run. I went on a few dates, but as many of my friends and family have heard me recall, the dates were absolutely terrible. So dear friends and family, please don't tell me how you bet dating in DC is wonderful with all these smart, classy men, because it's definitely not. I won't say anything else on that matter because with all the horror dating stories I've collected in the last 7 months, I can definitely write a novel and profit on them. However, if you do ever need a good chuckle, holla atcha girl because I gotchu covered with said stories.

I'll wrap up this post with a special shout-out to those dearest to me. There is no way I would have been able to survive 2015 without the following people. Hayden, thank you for continuing to be my best friend and always there for me. You never fail to call me when you can tell something is off and you never fail to be there when I need you, even though you are thousands of miles away. Words cannot describe how happy I am I saw you for the first time in almost 2 years this Christmas. Although the time was way too short, I cherished it so much. You know I love you long time boo.

HB & HB. Neither time nor distance can tear us apart

Last but not least, save the best for last, thanks to my Finns. You all journeyed hundreds of miles from across the Carolinas to sit through a long Easter Vigil Mass to be my support during Confirmation. You screamed the loudest as I walked across the steps at graduation. You answer my emergency phone calls (even though not always emergencies in your book). You always keep me grounded, especially when I think I'm hilarious and you think I need to be brought back to reality. You make the sad tears go away by drawing out the happy tears and stomachaches from laughing so hard. You continue to make the holidays special. It's always been the 5 of us no matter what and it continues to be just the 5 of us. We all share an inseperable bond and although we want to punch each other sometimes, I wouldn't want to spend my lazy days binge watching Redbox and Netflix with anybody else. There's no way I would've made it out of 2015 alive without each of you. You have all helped support me in different ways and it is heartwarming to know that home continues to be a place of smiles, laughs, good food, and comfort regardless of what life has thrown us.

My ride-or-dies, my clique, my gang. All I need in this crazy life.

So, thank you 2015 for the good times and the bad, the lessons and the struggles. You only made me that much more prepared and excited for 2016. 

Besos,
Haley